I’m Fighting For My Dreams But Forgot My Relationship With God

When I first moved to LA my dad stressed to me about how I need to find a church home, especially dealing with hollywood people and working in the industry. So I visited a few churches, but could never feel a connection and I couldn’t even stay focused at church. So I thought something was wrong with the churches. 

So then I started looking at my church back in Dallas on the internet on Sundays, but then after a while I realized I was having the same issues all over again. So then I started to think was something wrong with me. So after consideration I  decided that I wasn’t attending church anymore, because I felt like my relationship with God shouldn’t be based on going to church one day out of the week. I mean I still pray and talk to God, so I figured what was the harm.

So then I decided to tell my parents and my grandmother about my recent decision. My grandma and mom were basically saying the same thing, which was just pray about it and let God guide you. Now my dad on the other hand was a totally different subject which ended up in a 30 minute back and forth disagreement about my decision. While listening to him he did have one valid point, but of course I wasn’t going to let him know lol. So again that night I asked God to show me the way and guide me in the right direction and if going to church was for me.  

Literally two days later something came over me to look up a church and listen to a bible study service and I did just that. What’s crazy is in that service it spoke exactly to me, it was exactly what my dad had told me the other day. Crazy right, God just be showing up 😂 . In that moment I knew this was a sign from God! I don’t know if he was guiding me to this church, but I do feel like he was guiding me back in his direction.  Listening to this service had me in tears and I hadn’t felt like this in a long time so I know this was nothing but God talking to me.

If you know me you know how serious and driven I am about my career and my brand. So I decided as much effort I put in my dreams and goals, I should do exactly the same towards my relationship with God! I miss the strong relationship I use to have with the man upstairs! So I decided to take baby steps on this path, I have decided to go to bible study at the church I watched online, no having sex until I get in a committed relationship, read the Bible every day for 15 minutes and pray everyday. I’m still not going to church Sunday, BUT I am going to continue to pray to ask the lord to guide me to the right church that I will feel spiritual connected.

I know y’all probably wondering why I just don’t go to the church I’m going to bible study at, but I despise mega churches and this one is a mega church. I rather attend and be a member of a smaller church that’s more personable and the preacher actually knows majority of the congregation. 

I say all this to say is that if you can put your all in your dreams you can use that same amount effort towards your relationship with God.